Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil is internationally acclaimed and one
of America's best-known relationship experts; named by New
York Magazine as one of the city's top therapists.
In her two books, Adultery,
The Forgivable Sin and Make Up, Don't Break Up, Dr.
Weil takes you step by step through a new understanding of infidelity-the
unforgivable sin (as many people call it) and teaches you how
to repair the damage from an affair and create an even stronger,
more loving relationship. Her success rate is phenomenal - 98%
of the couples in her practice who experience adultery make up
and stay together with Smart Heart Skills.
Find out more about why adultery is
a chemical imbalance and can be (MUST BE) treated!!!
Dr. Weil ("Bonnie") has developed
a biological theory to explain why some adulterers
cannot stop cheating even when they want to stop. The
"self medication" of the affair is an attempt
at physical equilibrium which is why so many adulterers
thrive on danger and stress!!! Learn more about this
in her brand NEW book Adultery, The
Forgivable Sin - second edition. You
the second edition online now.
Dr.Weil has a three
part theory to help explain the occurrence of adultery:
I. ) Adultery is most often the result of an inherited
emotional behavior pattern , rather than a desire to be unfaithful.
The adulterer is desperately trying to finish his childhood
and heal his wounds.
II. ) Many men commit adultery because of psychological
distress that comes from confrontation or conflict in their relationship.
Men flee from this discomfort to attempt to relieve, self-medicate,
and soothe the psychological effects that conflict produces in
III. ) Some people who have experienced severe stress,
loss or separation from one or both of their parents at an early
age often suffer an impact on their hormones that affects adult
relationships. This hormonal change results in a bio-chemical
craving for connection vis a vis an affair.
Additional observations Dr.
Weil has made about adultery include:
- An affair is a cry for help.
It shakes you to wake you. Only people who are in some
kind of emotional pain commit adultery
- The affair is not the predominant
problem in the relationship but rather a symptom of mutual
disconnection, emptiness, and a lack of intimacy in the relationship
that the affair is masking.
- An affair is a triangle
to avoid or deny problems in the relationship that must be
faced and resolved. Two people in a relationship unconsciously
collude to have an affair.
- An affair is not therapeutic
in the long run. You cannot fix what's wrong in a relationship
by adding another complication. It only gives you another problem.
- The goal of healing comes from
both the betrayed and the betrayer accepting and taking responsibility
for the affair. They should envision an "equal sign"
between them, both seeing their part
- For many couples, adultery
is the necessary obstacle they must overcome in order for them
to stop being polite and start fighting so they can have
passion and learn to communicate, to be intimate, and to connect
for phone consultations
is one of
America's best-known relationship experts and author of the books Make Up, Don't Break Up and Adultery, The Forgivable
Sin. She has appeared on the Today show, Oprah!,
A Current Affair, The View, Sally, Ricki
Lake, Montel, Maury Povich, and Extra.
Her work has also been featured
in Good Housekeeping, The New York Times, USA
Today, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, New
Woman and Maxim.
Dr. Weil has a thriving practice
in New York City, consults by phone all over the world, and is
a distinguished lecturer and consultant. For more information
regarding telephone relationship therapy sessions, personal appearances,
lectures and seminars, she can be reached at:
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
Tel (212) 606-3787
Fax (212) 213-0934