Order a copy online at:
Order a copy online at:
Make Up, Don't Break Up
approach to bridging the gap between men and women."
Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus
"This is among the
most helpful, complete, and positive manuals for saving a relationship
that I have seen. All singles and couples who read this book
cannot help but be inspired to "makeup".
HOW TO CONFESS AN AFFAIR
To prepare yourself for this
talk, keep uppermost in your mind that adultery is a symptom
of an existing problem in your relationship, not the problem
itself. You have to get to the underlying problem, rather than
focusing solely on the affair. This is where most couples go
wrong. Don't get stuck in a no-win blame game!
Heart Approach to Confessing an Affair
- Your motive for confessing
should be a genuine desire to improve your relationship, not
ease your own guilt, vent anger, or get back at your partner.
- Be sensitive to timing. Consider
your mate's energy level, mood, schedule, and events or crises
she is already dealing with. If your afraid to tell or keep putting
it off, consider meeting with a therapist.
- Reassure your partner of your love. Recall
special times together with him or her and as a family.
- Use the fair fighting techniques discussed
in Chapter 10 of Make Up, Don't Break Up.
- Keep talking and listening, no matter how
long it takes. Be open to your partner's reactions-especially
listening to and validating any feelings of abandonment and betrayal
without anger or blame.
- Tell the truth about whether or not you plan
to end the affair. If you want to make your marriage last, you
must end it.
- Be willing to answer any questions about
your lover-but don't give too many details. If you don't
answer these questions, your partner will dwell on them, imagine
the worst, and become obsessed. The less you tell, the more they
If you would like help dealing with these
or any issues, Dr. Bonnie is available for telephone consultations
and can be reached via mail, telephone or fax via the information
Dr. Bonnie Eaker-Weil, Ph.D. is
one of America's best-known relationship experts and author of
the books Make Up, Don't Break Up and Adultery, The
Forgivable Sin. She has appeared on the Today show,
Oprah!, A Current Affair, The View, Sally,
Ricki Lake, Montel, Maury Povich, and Extra.
Her work has also been
featured in Good Housekeeping, The New York Times,
USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal,
New Woman and Maxim.
Dr. Weil has a thriving
practice in New York City, consults by phone all over the world,
and is a distinguished lecturer and consultant. For more information
regarding telephone relationship therapy sessions, personal appearances,
lectures and seminars, she can be reached at:
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil
Tel (212) 606-3787
Fax (212) 213-0934